


A Very Supernatural Christmas

by Winter_Gray



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom, sabriel - Fandom
Genre: Christmas fic, Crack Fic, Fluffy Smut, M/M, Supernatural - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-21
Updated: 2015-12-21
Packaged: 2018-05-08 06:49:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5487692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winter_Gray/pseuds/Winter_Gray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little nods to "Twas the Night Before Christmas" . Castiel decides to get all dressed up in costume and give Dean a Christmas surprise with his big sack of goodies. Dean gets Castiel a special gift and Sammy gets a sausage. Guest appearance by Gabriel attempting to fill Sam's stocking with all sorts of things. Destiel, Sabriel, Crack fic, Fluff, humor & naughty stuff.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The Supernatural characters belong to Kripke Enterprises and the CW. No money is being made from this story. It is for entertainment only.

**A Very Supernatural Christmas**

Sam watched Dean from the comfort of the saggy leather couch as he sipped a cup of heavily spiked eggnog. Big brother was on his hands and knees rooting around under the Christmas tree.

“Dean why get a tree now, it’s already Christmas Eve.”

Dean replied, “Because Tubbs Tree Ranch was having a blowout sale. I got it for five bucks. Now stop guzzling down that disgusting crap and help me find something.” He looked over at the bowl of nog and wrinkled his nose, “Gross, it looks like a bowl of phlegm sitting over other.”

Sam gagged on the last of his eggnog, “Thanks for the image Dean. I used to like eggnog.”

“Correction, phlegmnog.”

Sam let out a sigh along with an eye roll. He sat down on the floor next to his brother. “Are you going to tell me what I’m looking for?”

“Just something I bought Cas and now I can’t find it.”

“Is it bigger than a bread box?”

Exasperated, Dean shook an oddly shaped package at Sam, “Less talking and more looking. It has a tag with “Cas” on it. Keep it up and you don’t get this.”

The package looked like something Sam probably didn’t want in the first place. It was shaped like a sexual aid.

“Are you sure that’s not the one for Cas? It looks like a…dildo.”

Now Dean was the one to rolled his pretty eyes, “Uh, Cas could have the real thing meaning moi so what would he want with a dildo?”

Sam leaned in and bravely sniffed the wrapping paper, “Is this a sausage?”

Dean tossed the package back under the tree, “You love sausage.”

Sam burst out laughing, “No, you love sausage.”

Dean socked his little brother in the shoulder, “I’m just gay for Cas you bitch. Besides he’s an Angel so it doesn’t count.”

……………………….

Castiel stood in front of the full length mirror at Lolita’s Naughty or Nice examining himself in the mirror, “Is this an authentic costume?”

The sales girl twirled her finger in the air, “Give me a spin…turn around.”

The Angel of the Lord turned to face the wall, “Like this?”

She took out her phone and snapped a photo of the adorably hot customer’s ass, “Yup that’s perfect. You can turn around now.”

The Angel cocked his head giving the girl a quizzical look, “Is it customary to take photographs of the customers?”

“Only if they look as good as you.”

Castiel glanced in the mirror one more time, “You didn’t answer, is this authentic?”

“Depends on what it’s for.”

The Angel’s expression changed immediately from quizzical to sunshine happy, “I’m going to surprise my companion and his brother. In fact I have a big sack for both of them.”

“Kinky! I think you picked the right outfit then.”

“There are goodies inside my big sack.”

The blue eyed pretty boy went from cute to creepy in an instant. She took a step back, “Um…cash or charge?”

……………………..

“The Shop Around the Corner” had captured Sam’s attention. He watched as Jimmy Stewart had a bout of word play with Margaret Sullavan. It was a Christmas classic that lightened the feel of the dreary bunker.

Dean’s deal of a Christmas tree was doing a good job of that as well. He had found some old colored lights and despite the possible fire hazard and burns received while stringing them Sam had to admit the looked really nice.

Dean hummed as he dropped little goodies in Sam and Cas’ stockings. Sam had already put something in Dean’s. It looked lumpy and Dean wondered if it was a new pair of socks.

He turned and looked at Sammy, “What are you wearing on your head?”

“A kerchief, it’s like a bandanna. I found it while we were poking around for ornaments. There are all kinds of old clothes here.”

“It has lace on it Sam. That is not what I call a bandanna. It’s a lady hat.”

“Oh yah, well what are you wearing?”

“A cap…you know a night cap.”

“Nice hat grandpa.”

“Stick it up your butt Sam.”

“No thanks, I have that big sausage waiting for me under the tree.”

…………………..

Sam and Dean settled in for a long winters nap. Dean was dreaming of a blue eyed Angel and Sam was dreaming of deli meat.

TBC

 A/N- This is my stress relieving Christmas fic that might not make any sense at all and will be ridiculous at times. Its not high art, its just for fun.


	2. Naughty Christmas Angels

Gabriel spotted his little brother sitting in one of Heavens opulent gardens. The blue eyed Angel might have gone unnoticed except for the outfit he had on. Normally Castiel in his tan trench coat seemed to blend in with the natural surroundings.

The Archangel put his hands over Cas’ blue peepers and whispered in his ear, “Guess who hot stuff.”

“From the smell of chili dogs, sex and whiskey on your breath I would have to guess Gabriel.”

Gabriel removed his hands and waved them in the air, “Jazz hands! Yup, it’s me…I call the smell my personal musk.” He peeked over his little brother’s shoulder and looked at the book he was studying, “Whatcha reading sexy?”

“I am reading a book of Christmas classic stories and poems. Specifically “Twas the Night Before Christmas” I’m getting into the spirit of things so I can surprise the Winchesters and give them a nice holiday.”

“You mean surprise Dean. That would explain the outfit.”

Cas looked back at Gabe with a frown, “I have goodies in my sack for Sam as well.”

Gabriel tapped a finger on his cheek and rolled his eyes toward the exceptionally fat and fluffy clouds above them, “Hmmm…I know, I’ll take care of Sam and you can focus on Dean. I happen to have a big sack of goodies for sweet Sammy boy I’d just love to give him.”

The slightly naive Angel smiled up at him, “Really, you would do that for me? What a wonder brother you are Gabriel. Yes I would enjoy focusing more on Dean but I just hate to ignore Sam.”

Gabriel snapped his fingers and was instantly dressed like one of Santa’s elves. It was quite fitting considering the Archangel’s slight stature, “What do you think? I don’t have the body to carry off an outfit like yours.”

Castiel nodded in agreement, “I was told this was authentic by the sales clerk. She ever took a photograph so I must look quite good.”

The Archangel smirked, “Did you walk out of the store dressed in that?”

“Yes. The response was most favorable. I received what Dean would describe as catcalls. I have no idea why because not a single cat showed up as the men were yelling things at me. They even mentioned pussies but still…no cats.”

Now the Archangel in elves clothing was rolling in the grass howling with laughter. An indignant Castiel closed his book and vanished.

…………………….

“Ah ha, I caught you sneaking peeks!”

Sam dropped the gaily wrapped box he was holding and covered his face to avoid the flashlight Dean was shining in his eyes.

“I can’t help it Dean. One minute I was dreaming of sugar plums and sausage and the next thing I knew I was down here pawing at the presents. There are so many!”

Dean took a step back to look at the bounty that seemed to have spread several feet around the base of the tree, “Yeah I noticed that. Man, I hope that’s not some kind of weird cursed tree I bought.”

Sam poked a gift bag with his finger, “Do you think we should get rid of it?”

“Open up the bag and see what’s inside.”

“Why me?!”

“Hey, you’re the big snoop.”

Sam stood up kicked the gift bag across the room. It hit the wall and a loud squeak came out of it. Dean drew his emergency pistol from the garter belt he didn’t recall putting on. The Hunter shot a round into the bag then went over and toed it with a red stiletto.

A stuffed moose with a blown out belly rolled out of the bag. It had a big tag around the neck that said, “To Sam”.

Sam pouted over the loss of a gift. He tugged at the pastel green ribbon tied at the end of his braid he didn’t recall making and said, “Now it’s ruined.”

Dean picked up the toy and read the back of the tag, “It’s from Santa’s elf.”

Sam almost stumbled on the ruffled hem of his flannel granny nightgown he never owned before and plucked the moose from Dean’s hands, “Santa’s elf…weird.”

Dean’s eyes lit up when there right on top of the pile was the gift he had for Castiel, “Awesome I found it!”

“What is it?”

“None of your damn beeswax.”

“Jerk.”

“I don’t know about you Sammy but I’m gonna hit the hay, I got gumdrops, rainbows and ponies to dream about.” Dean straightened his corset and headed back to bed. Sam followed clomping along in his giant bunny slippers.

………………….

The Angels watched unseen. Castiel glared at his brother, “Honestly Gabriel this started out as a gesture of love and you’ve made it strange and off putting.”

“You’re the one wearing that silly outfit not me. I think that was the beginning of strange little brother. Anyway what else does that poem say?”

Castiel read the next passage to Gabriel.

“When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter, I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter. Away to the window I flew like a flash, tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.”

“So we need to scare the crap out of them?”

“No I don’t think that’s what it means.”

Gabriel took the book away and his twinkling eyes moved rapidly over the words, “The moon on some new fallen snow…a sleigh and reindeer…blah, blah, blah…Oh coming down a chimney!”

“There is no fireplace or chimney here.”

The elf slung his arm around Castiel's shoulders, “We can fix that.”

TBC

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Christmas Cuties

Castiel and Gabriel sat together above the MOL bunker looking up at the stars and discussing their next move. Gabriel of course took every opportunity to tease his little brother.

Giving Cas a wry smile the Archangel asked, “Truth or dare…are you a virgin?”

Castiel tugged at the back of his costume that was riding up his little ass crack, “I think I’m getting a rash.”

“Answer the question.”

“My vessel is not a virgin.”

Gabe punched him lightly on the shoulder, “Come on that’s not what I asked.”

Cas cast his blue eyes toward the heavens and let out a deep sigh, “Yes I am.”

“Hmmm…well maybe tonight Dean can fill your Christmas stocking with goodies or would it be the other way around? Dean looked pretty nice in that corset; maybe I’ll give him a test drive.”

Gabriel immediately had a furious Angel in his face growling like an angry wolf, “You just worry about Sam. Dean is my Hunter!”

“Whoa, chill out brother. I’m teasing.”

Castiel settled back, his eyes returning to their normal shade of blue, “Apologies, when it comes to Dean Winchester I get a bit protective.”

………………..

Sam remembered going to his bed to sleep but woke at the stroke of midnight curled up next to the Christmas tree. He was pretty sure midnight had come and gone already but everything had been pretty weird since Dean bought that Christmas tree.

“Sam…pssst…Sam over here.”

Sam jumped to his feet, smoothed the wrinkles out of his sheer pink negligee then looked around, “Alright I don’t know what’s going on but whoever this is you’re on my last nerve!”

He stumbled back into the pile of presents when a stage appeared and Gabriel appeared wearing a sailor suit and straw hat like an old timey toddler would wear. “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas” started to play on what sounded like a scratchy old record.

Gabriel burst into song but replacing “hippopotamus” with “cutie moose”. Sam scrambled up the pile of gifts when the Archangel winked at him and shook his finger at the freaked out Hunter.

_I want a cutie moose for Christmas The kind I saw this summer at the zoo there's lots of room for him in our two car garage I'd feed him there and wash him there And give him his massage_

_I can see me now on Christmas morning Creeping down the stairs Oh, what joy and what surprise When I open up my eyes To see my cutie moose standing there….._

Sam held up a giant teddy bear in front of him like an Angel ward and yelled, “Dean help!”

The music stopped, the stage vanished and Gabriel was wearing a tuxedo with a rose in the lapel. He tap danced his way over to Sam and started his ascent up the mountain of gifts reaching Sam in record time. He pinned the freaked out man by the puffy sleeves on his Ginger Rodgers inspired gown and kissed Sam.

“Come on baby, let’s open up some of these boxes and have a little play time.”

………………

Castiel stood silently at the foot of Dean’s bed watching him sleep.

_“You look so precious in that aquamarine baby doll nightie my love…tonight will be ours.”_

Dean seemed to sense someone was watching even in his sleep. He kicked out a foot clad in a kitten heel with marabou feathers on top and grumbled in his dream.

“Dean, wake up.”

The Angel of the Lord found a pistol pointed at him as a half asleep Dean backed against the headboard.”

“Put the gun down, it’s only me.”

Dean lowered the gun and stuck it in the nightstand.

“Cas what are you doing here?”

The Angel smiled at his soon to be lover, “I’ve come to give you your Christmas gift.”

“Is it a subscription to the Beer of the Month Club, because that would be awesome.”

Castiel opened his trench coat and dropped it to the floor exposing Dean to his most remarkable holiday costume. “I’m here to spread Christmas cheer to you Dean and give you goodies from my big sack.”

Dean looked like a cartoon character his green eyes were open so wide. Speechless for a moment the Hunter finally found his words.

“Uh…you look like you’re going to spread something and that is a mighty big sack. Tell me more about the goodies.”

Castiel answered, “Ho, ho, ho.”

TBC

 

 

  
  


 

 

 

 


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